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Offers you an instant resolve to all of your emotional distress/stresses and strains
“I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost….I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes me forever to find a way out.”
“I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. But it isn’t my fault. It still takes me a long time to get out.”
“I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in. It’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.”
“I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it!”
“I walk down another street."
~ Portia Nelson
The above quote illustrates a lesson learned; right? In your head it may be an emphatic YES, however in your body, managed by your animal brain, it is actually a NO!
Unfortunately your body holds on to experiences that have resulted in pain, either physically or emotionally, with a ‘better safe than sorry’ philosophy. Your body is where you 'feel; the experience and to 'feel' incorporates both the physiological response as well as the label you give it i.e. sadness, happiness etc.
The consequence of your body holding onto those experiences equals baggage, which ultimately increases as your experiences increase. The most detrimental thing about baggage is that it creates a bias in your behaviours and attitudes which impact on your decision making. Any bad habits or unhealthy repetitive patterns and themes arise as a direct consequence of your baggage. And remember that your baggage informs all of your future decisions whether they are healthy for you or not!
Baggage works often in a subtle way, working away from potential emotional challenges, however working away from emotional challenges ACTUALLY works against you in the long term: a short term gain for long term pain.
Your baggage talks you into avoiding any similar experiences in the future BUT it does not discriminate and therefore anything that triggers a similar feeling will be avoided – which actually serves to add MORE baggage, not decrease it!
More baggage = increased fear = greater emotional challenges with an outcome of decreased capability and confidence. Subsequently, we may start to avoid the ‘pot holes’ in life to save experiencing emotional challenges but in effect we would be trying to resolve an emotional challenge (a problem on the inside) with a physical challenge (a solution on the outside). This is actually a futile endeavour.
The main strategies used to deal with emotional challenges are: To address and resolve: To ignore or bury, or: To fester and procrastinate. Avoidance falls into the latter two strategies.
You may think that avoiding the ‘pot holes’ overcomes your challenge, however it actually serves to decrease capability and confidence. Your baggage will be ‘telling you’ that you are incapable of coping with the pot hole and therefore, the avoidance gives the illusion of coping or controlling the situation. Avoidance serves to feed back a confirmatory loop that you really do need to avoid the situation at all costs. A paradox indeed!
Turning an emotional challenge into a physical challenge is a strategy taken on board as a child. You may remember as a child stomping your feet, biting, shouting and screaming…….or maybe that did not stop as a child? 😊 Indeed, if you still hit out, throw things, scream, shout, punch pillows or alternatively withdraw into isolation then you are avoiding an emotional challenge because you feel incapable of dealing with it directly and therefore project that pain on to something external. Your emotional muscles are weak because you have not learnt how to flex them!
This is where I come in: I actively work to help you flex your emotional muscles and increase your emotional intelligence, which will ultimately put you back in the driving seat!!
So if you feel that your baggage is interfering with where you want to be in life, then have a chat with me. I work with the adage ‘short-term pain, long-term gain and I achieve this with my bespoke two day package to FLIP YOUR LIFE!
And all you need is your dream, your openness to explore, address and resolve your baggage and your passion to re-ignite your joie de vivre!!
Dream. Explore. Play. Your way!